A couple of weeks ago, I had coffee with a friend of mine. We sat down to chat and she said “Will you tell me Maddox’s birth story?”
I stopped for a moment and realized, not a single person has asked me that until now. I mean, I know not everyone in the world cares about your birth story, but I realized in that moment that if your baby also has a death story, no one asks for their birth story.
That question made my eyes light up, remembering those moments before Maddox was born, before we knew anything was wrong when our biggest question was will it be a boy or a girl?
Throughout my pregnancy, I always had this feeling that when it was time for Maddox to come, I would just know. I’d feel it or sense it or something. People told me I was nuts, but I still had a feeling.
I also told everyone that I was going to go a week overdue. I was a week late and I know first-time moms often go closer to 41 weeks so I just kind of assumed. Although, my friend Holly kept telling me “This is your baby. He’s going to be on time.” Touche.
Maddox was due on May 2nd. On Sunday, April 30th that feeling that I knew would happen started happening. I started to feel a couple things that were a little different and I knew that he wasn’t coming that day, but he was at least coming that week.
The next morning, I woke up and went to CrossFit like normal. Everything was pretty normal except that I had a sneaking suspicion that might be the last workout Maddox and I did together for a while. On my way home, he was acting so different! He would usually be sound asleep after being tossed around at the gym, but he was up and having a dance party in there.
On my drive home I started feeling very mild contractions. They continued as I showered, got ready and went to work. Once I sat at my desk and they continued, I figured I should probably time them since they’d been regular for a good hour now. They were all right around 5 min apart, but still super mild.
I called my midwife and they told me to go in to get checked out. So I left the office and told everyone “I think I might have a baby today!” Everything was still so mild, I was in great spirits and super excited to meet MJ.
Well, as you may guess, I was quickly sent home from the hospital. Turns out when you’re still smiling and giggling through contractions, you’re not 100% ready to deliver a baby yet. Shocking, right?
I went home to lounge on the couch. The contractions continued pretty regularly and started to get more intense as the afternoon went on. I was told not to come back to the hospital until they were 2 minutes apart so I ended up going to bed pretty early, hoping for a little sleep.
Well, of course, as soon as I laid down, everything got way more intense! I was not smiling or giggling through contractions anymore – OMG I thought I had a good pain tolerance, but no! I tried getting into the shower to see if it would help but it didn’t do a whole lot. And when the contractions got so bad that I started throwing up, I told Steve I didn’t care how far apart they were, we’re going back to the hospital.
We picked up my mom and headed back to the hospital around midnight. Once I got there, they checked me and said I needed to walk around for an hour before they would admit me. Well, then there was more throwing up and less being able to actually walk. It finally got so bad that I lied and told my mom and Steve that I needed to go to the bathroom but I really just went in, locked the door and laid on the bathroom floor! It was probably my classiest life moment to date.
After Steve told the nurse I was laying on the ground, they decided to let me lay in a bed. I was admitted and quickly changed my plan of going au naturale and asked about 600 times when I could get an epidural. OMG the anesthesiologist was my BFF. I would have married him.
So at this point, it was like 4am. Steve and my mom fell asleep. I tried but I was just too wound up. Around noon, my midwife came in and told me my contractions had actually slowed down. Cool. She said I could either go back home (which means no more epidural so, um, no.) or they could give me petosin to try to get things going again.
So yeah, I took the keeping the epidural in option. Then it was many more hours of waiting and waiting and poor Maddox never fully descending. Of course, I really wanted to do things as naturally as possible so I was a little bummed when my midwife came in and told me I needed to have a c section. But I was surprisingly calm, too. At the end of the day, I just wanted to meet my baby already!
They moved us pretty quickly into the surgical room, gave me more drugs – OMG the epidural jitters are theeee worst – and got this whole party started.
Honestly, it was weird AF. As soon as they gave me more drugs, it felt like there was a weight blanket over my entire body, like I couldn’t move even my arms. I felt super out of it, which is honestly probably my biggest complaint. I hated not feeling like I was fully present to experience Maddox’s birth.
Now at this point, the one small thing that was left in my birth plan that could actually happen was Steve announcing the sex of the baby. I was adamant about it: Steve would announce it, no one else.
Well, as soon as he came out, I heard one of the nurses say “It’s a boy!” and I tried to ignore it and pretend it hadn’t happened so Steve could tell me himself. He looked down in my eyes and said “We’re having a little boy!” I immediately started to cry, but even that was muted with how out of it and heavy my mind and body felt.
They quickly showed him to me before taking him over to the table to do whatever it is they do there after a c section – why does that affect when you can get your baby in your arms?! That still confuses me.
Almost immediately, I noticed that he wasn’t crying. I asked a bunch of questions and heard them talking about how he was okay. Then, suddenly, I heard the most incredible sound in the entire world as Maddox cried for the first time. I always imagined the whole baby crying thing would be hard to deal with, but it was truly the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.
Maddox Jude was born May 2nd at 8:02pm, weighing 6lb, 11oz. And before they took him away to the nursery, he made sure to leave his mark by peeing all over one of the nurses. Good job, Maddox.
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